I just have to speak on this gay marriage issue. First off, let me tell you that I have been married twice and divorced twice. I only say this to illustrate that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to marriage, even at my tender young age of 32. ;-)
When it comes to the issue of gay marriage I heard the best quote ever from a standup comedian (sorry, I truly do not remember who!). It goes, "If they really want to be as miserable as the rest of us, let 'em!" This is just funny, but it still strikes a chord with me and I'm thinking about half the other people who have ever been married in this country. If two people want to pledge themselves to one another and raise children to be good people and contributing citizens, why on Earth should we be inhibiting them? Homosexuality is not contagious and until they find the "gay gene" I'm going to hold my stance that it is not hereditary either.
So my ultimate question is, "What is everybody so afraid of?" Really. Are these people that fight against it afraid that their kids are going to see a gay wedding and switch on the spot and decide that's what they want? I seriously doubt it. I knew when I was a little boy that I was into girls and so were most of the lesbians I know! All my gay male friends were into boys at an early age. This seems pretty self-evident to me that it is nature, not nurture. In other words, you have nothing to worry about! Your kids will be who they will be and the only thing we, as parents, can do is love them and teach them to love in kind; be responsible and teach them to be responsible. However, if we ridicule them then all they will learn is to ridicule in return.
A lot of folks also like to bring the Bible up in these discussions in defense of their stance against gay marriage saying things like "Jesus hates F*gs" (I refuse to use this word, even in quotes, as it is tantamount to using the "N" word to me). To this I must remind them to read their Good Book again: Jesus hated nobody. His message was always one of forgiveness and love, no matter which version you read and I have read several so, again, this comes from first-hand knowledge. You cannot claim to be one thing and then spit on everything that that one thing stands for. Look up "hypocrisy" in the dictionary.
All in all, though, it comes down to what you want this world to be. If you want this world to be a hateful and spiteful place then by all means continue to act accordingly and teach your children to hate and judge others. If you are like me, however, and would like to spread love to every corner of this little rock, then we must pass this philosophy on through our words and our works. Practice love because as the saying goes, "Practice makes perfect."
-AdRock
Adam, thank you so much for this thought-provoking and emotional post. It is sometimes difficult to understand the point of view of others, especially when we find their point of view terribly unreasonable. Like you, I have a hard time understanding what the big deal is. My sister is gay, and her and her partner have a child, and they have stayed together longer, and are better parents, then many people I have met my life.
ReplyDeleteWhat I was struck about yesterday with the North Carolina law, was that people wanted to redefine this idea regarding marriage versus civil unions. Marriage, to many these people, is a religious agreement made within the church and between the perimeters of this religion or that religion. Civil unions, on the other hand, are a legal union and not a religious one. but this argument makes little sense. In this country you cannot just have a religious marriage. If you wanted benefits from the economic and social arrangements of marriage, you have to have a legal document. Further, once we get married, the document the state gives this is not a “civil union document” but a certificate of marriage. So the discussion on the word of terms "marriage" vs "Civil unions" s all hot air.
We value equality in this country and we should stand by that value.
Hello Adam, This is a great blog. My favorite sit-com is modern family, too bad it's just TV. I like your quote,"If they really want to be as miserable as the rest of us, let 'em!" I could not say it better, and what Rebecca is saying is priceless, but she does have a PHD. I cannot believe however, married twice? There definitely should be age restrictions, was your first marriage at 15?LOL..It's hard enough to believe you have an 8 year old. Like I said before, there's a lot of brains behind those looks:)
ReplyDeleteI really do agree with you on your position in gay marraige. I believe that whats between two people should not be critisized by others especailly to those that have no idea who they are.
ReplyDeleteI just want to say thank you for voicing your opinion on this controversial subject. It takes a strong person to post a strong opinion on what might be a sensitive subject. I am one who agrees with your views on gay marriage but don't think I would have expressed my views on a blog. Once again, very glad you did. I believe the more we are exposed to new things the more we accept them.
ReplyDeleteI whole-heartedly agree Adam. I have many gay friends, although for some reason they are mostly women. There are a couple of them I could see getting married at some point, and I don't feel like they should be restricted from it due to what somebody else thinks. I do wish there were fewer marriages in general though, as many of them (like your two) do not tend to work out and seems to cause a lot of agony due to people rushing in. You are brave to post about this in a public and classroom setting, although I do have to say, Seattle is a fairly agreeable audience on this -- which is one of the reasons I am proud to live here!
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